Happy New Year 2026: The Boring Path to an Interesting Life
Don’t borrow money to impress people, don’t wait for “perfect timing,” and don’t ignore AI—life works better when you’re practical, patient, and a little selfish.
Happy New Year 2026, everyone!
It’s that magical week where gyms are full, fridges are empty, and everyone is lying to themselves with confidence.
“I’m a new person now.”
No—you’re the same person, just louder about it.
I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Resolutions are like free trials—you’re fully committed until the credit card charge shows up.
Instead, I believe in quarterly resolutions. Every three months you check your life like a business:
“Is this working?”
“No?”
Cool. Pivot. No emotions. No vision board. Just survival.
So tonight, I’ve got a random list of thoughts. No order. No judgment. Lots of disclaimers. Let’s begin.
Podcast
The short version
For the “Reels-watcher” kind…
Only take vacations you can afford—debt and relaxation should never meet.
If it needs installments and isn’t food or medicine, you don’t need it.
Credit card debt is just regret charging interest—kill it first.
Don’t enroll in college by muscle memory; 2026 doesn’t care about tradition.
If you switch careers, pick a role that actually matters—vibes don’t pay rent.
Skipping AI in 2026 is like skipping email in 1999—bold, but stupid.
Invest real money if you can, fake money if you can’t, ignorance is not an option.
Park far away—walking is free cardio and cheaper than therapy.
Eat because you’re hungry, not because the fridge made eye contact.
There is no perfect time—there’s only now and a lot of excuses.
Build a side hustle so layoffs don’t decide your personality.
If every year feels the same, congratulations—you’re on career autopilot.
Social media isn’t real life—it’s a heavily filtered lie with Wi-Fi.
Comparison kills joy, and titles won’t fix insecurity.
Everything important takes longer than promised—welcome to reality.
Ignore naysayers—they’re deeply committed to being comfortable.
One focused person with AI can now replace a small team—choose wisely.
If your car works, keep it—nobody’s impressed by your loan balance.
Be selfish enough to protect your time, energy, and sanity.
Nothing is saturated—most people just quit early.
The long version
For those of you who have a bit more time to read…
Vacations & Financial Delusion
First of all—don’t go on vacation unless you can afford it.
I saw people borrow money to go to Disney World.
Borrow. Money. To relax.
That’s not a vacation—that’s a field trip sponsored by Chase Bank.
Imagine riding Space Mountain knowing your APR is 24%.
That’s not magic. That’s trauma.
If you need to borrow money to “find yourself,” you will absolutely find yourself…
…in debt.
Installments Are Not a Personality Trait
Please stop buying non-essential things on installments.
Groceries? Fine.
Medical bills? Understandable.
A couch you saw on Instagram? Absolutely not.
You don’t need a $4,000 couch if you’re sitting on it eating ramen like it owes you money.
Same with concerts.
I saw people say, “Yeah, I went to Coachella—I borrowed the money.”
Borrowed… to sweat… next to strangers… in the desert.
That’s not a concert—that’s a financial hostage situation with background music.
Credit Cards: The Silent Assassin
If you have credit card debt, pay that off first.
Credit card interest is wild.
It’s like the bank saying,
“Oh, you’re struggling? Let’s add a difficulty level.”
It’s the only subscription you never signed up for but somehow can’t cancel.
College: Still Useful, But Not Automatic
Think twice before enrolling in college.
I say this as someone who went to college. A lot. I was there long enough to get tenure.
But it’s 2026. AI exists. Jobs are… vibes-based now.
People with MBAs are on YouTube like,
“So… this didn’t quite pan out.”
Before you enroll, ask:
• Do I actually need this degree?
• Or am I just following tradition like it’s peer pressure with loans?
Career Switching: Pick the Important Seats
If you’re entering a new industry, aim for core roles.
In software, don’t say,
“I don’t want to learn to build things—I just want to manage the builders.”
That’s like joining a restaurant and saying,
“I don’t cook, I don’t serve, I just want to supervise the vibes.”
AI: Learn It. Please. I’m Begging You.
If you end 2026 without improving your AI skills, you’ll regret it.
I don’t care what you do.
Doctor? Lawyer? Accountant? Yoga influencer?
AI is here. It’s not leaving.
It doesn’t sleep. It doesn’t complain. It doesn’t ask for PTO.
You don’t need to master it.
But you do need to stop pretending it’s a phase—like gluten-free diets.
Investing: At Least Pretend First
You should invest in the stock market.
Or at least paper trade.
Paper trading is like dating without emotional damage.
You learn, you mess up, nobody cries.
Real money teaches lessons like:
“Oh. That was fast.”
Parking: A Lifestyle Choice
Park far away.
People will circle a parking lot for 12 minutes to save a 30-second walk…
…then drive to the gym.
Unless you physically can’t—park far.
Get steps. Accidentally live longer.
Diet Plan for Normal Humans
Here’s my diet plan:
Ask yourself:
“Am I actually hungry—or just bored and sad?”
If healthy food exists—eat it.
If not, wait.
If you’re desperate—healthy snack.
If that’s gone—tiny junk snack.
Not the whole bag.
Your chips are not emotional support animals.
Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time
Do not wait to do what you’ve always wanted to do.
There is no perfect time.
Perfect time is a scam invented by procrastination to sell you next year.
Side Hustles Are the New Safety Net
Build a side hustle.
Employment alone in 2026 is not “safe.”
Sometimes “safe” is actually the riskiest thing you can do.
A side project is like a fire extinguisher.
You hope you never need it—but you’re glad it’s there.
Broaden Your Horizons
Don’t repeat the same year 15 times and call it “experience.”
Learn adjacent skills.
Cross-train your brain like it’s prepping for the AI Hunger Games.
Social Media Is Lying to You
Everyone online is rich, fit, happy, and in Santorini on a Tuesday.
You’re not behind.
You’re just seeing filters with Wi-Fi.
Stop Chasing Titles
Don’t chase titles unless you genuinely want them.
Titles don’t pay bills.
They just make your parents slightly more relaxed at family gatherings.
Everything Takes Longer Than You Expect
Everything—careers, startups, health, success—takes longer than you think.
Patience is a virtue nobody wants because it doesn’t ship fast.
Ignore the Naysayers
People love saying “you can’t.”
It’s their favorite hobby.
Let them enjoy it—quietly—while you keep moving.
You Can Do More Solo Than Ever
With AI, one determined person can do what a small team used to do.
Lack of money isn’t the blocker anymore.
Lack of starting is.
Stop Buying Depreciating Assets to Impress People
If your car works—keep it.
Don’t buy a $70,000 car to impress people who don’t even like you that much.
Invest in things that don’t lose value the moment you drive them off the lot like a melting ice sculpture.
Be a Little Selfish (The Healthy Kind)
Not villain selfish.
More like “I need boundaries and sleep” selfish.
You can’t pour from an empty cup—especially if the cup is also paying interest.
“Everything Is Saturated” Is Lazy
YouTube is saturated.
Jobs are saturated.
Business is saturated.
Okay—so what’s a baby born tomorrow supposed to do?
Just retire immediately?
There’s always room for people who show up, keep learning, and don’t quit.
🎉 Closing
If you agreed with some of this—great.
If you disagreed with all of it—also great. Argue in the comments. Democracy wins.
Happy New Year 2026.
May your parking spots be distant, your debt be low, and your excuses expire early.